It has long been taken for granted that men earn more than the wife or partner and are the greater wage earners in the household. Nonetheless women have made significant strides in this area and it is now common for them to surpass their partners and husbands in the earning stakes.
This reversal can be very difficult for many men to accept as they are expected to be able to provide for their families.
Feelings of doubt and a lack of self confidence may arise especially if he feels that he is holding the family back financially from obtaining the things they want.
Your partner maybe feeling frustrated by the fact that you earn more that him. If so remind him that who earns what should not be the basis for power within the relationship. In all fairness, a man’s sole worth should not be measured by his bank balance alone. It is important as women that we look beyond the tangible things and see the ‘real’ man. Look at his character, his integrity and view of life. Can you see the ‘gold’ in him. Some people cannot see what is within them and it takes a person with perception to draw out the hidden potential.
Don’t make an issue of the fact that you earn more than your partner. If you are married or together then you are a team and any money made is a joint effort. If you earn £50k per year and he earns £20k so what! Be grateful for his £20k contribution as together that equates to £70k which means a better quality of life for both of you.
Don’t make him feel that your work is more important that his simply because you earn more. Some professions like teaching, catering and nursing tend to be lower paid than others and must be taken into consideration if you are with someone who is working in these occupations. Instead show an interest, ask about his work and acknowledge the contributions that he makes towards the home and family.
Men and women behave differently when it comes to money. For a man earning more gives them a feeling of power. For a woman earning more may become something that she may ‘play down’ for fear of embarrassing the partner. All the same women should not be made to feel apologetic or compromise their work aspirations because of how they partner may feel. Emotionally secure men who are sure of themselves and their accomplishments tend not to make an issue of the fact that you earn more and instead would be proud of your achievements.
Talking about money may seem common to some people, but as a couple it is important to be clear as to what your roles are and to be accountable to each other financially, having set reasonable guidelines according to your goals and lifestyles. Whether you care to admit this or not, money is a big part of daily life and resentment around it can easily build up and spill over into other areas if left unchecked. Hence it is perhaps wise to set aside specific times to talk about any financial issues so as to avoid it creeping into everyday conversations. Who is better at handling the money side of things? Who pays for what? Do we need a joint account for household expenses?
What are our financial goals, there may be a shift in the contribution but the goal should remain the same.
